Magical Girl Heavy Dependence

Chapter 44, Playing with Your Life

Let's go back to the moment Sha Quan fell.

The black-clad magical girl received thunderous cheers and applause as everyone watched.

Applause, praise, enthusiasm, and many other indescribable emotions enveloped her. Fei Ying raised her hand high and announced to every fan watching them that this was her proud junior who would become an idol who, like her, would fight for Yincheng and bring happiness and laughter to everyone.

That atmosphere was like a poisonous fruit; you knew it was deadly and brightly colored, yet you couldn't resist picking and tasting it.

Countless golden specks of light poured into her [Heart of Wishes], and the sense of satisfaction made Eya's lips involuntarily curl upwards slightly.

More and more people gathered, and the atmosphere became increasingly psychedelic. She saw an indescribable meaning on their fanatical faces, saw flashes of light and a barrage of cell phone cameras, and saw Thorn Rose stagger to her feet from the ground behind the crowd.

Their gazes met suddenly. The rose remained calm, but a tremendous fear suddenly enveloped the crow.

It was like a bucket of cold water being poured over it.

Eya shook off Hiyori's hand and ran away in full view of everyone.

She escaped to a deserted place and deactivated her transformation.

Whether it was from the impact of the battle or some other reason, Yan Xi covered her mouth and gagged, tears welling up in her eyes.

"Give."

Cheng Chen appeared in front of her without her noticing and handed her a tissue.

A strange young girl followed behind him. Through her indifferent eyes, Yan Xi still recognized Du Lingyi's identity.

"What are you doing here!"

Yan Xi didn't know why she was so agitated, or what the restless emotions in her chest were.

Du Lingyi greeted the breathy Kimi and replied matter-of-factly, "Thank you."

"Thank you, for..."

Yan Xi suddenly fell silent, only then remembering her last act that was against her will.

Did I save her?

Damn it, how could I have saved someone I hated, and almost got myself killed in the process!

Anyway, thank you.

After Du Lingyi finished speaking, she did not say anything more.

The three of them stood on the deserted steps outside the stadium, watching the staff busy with the cleanup, watching Cheng Chen finish his annoying work call, watching him treat Yan Xi like a child, and watching Du Lingyi exchange contact information with Cheng Chen, bowing respectfully to say goodbye and saying, "I will contact you later."

Then came the present moment, as the van drove into the old street after sunset, with dogs barking incessantly because they smelled unfamiliar scents.

She sat in the back seat of the company van, watching it come to a stop beside the reeds along the road to her home.

Yan Xi led him into the house. It was the first time Cheng Chen had stepped into this old, dilapidated two-story building. The stairs swayed constantly, making a teeth-grinding creaking sound with every step, as if they would collapse at any moment.

The simple decorations were spotless, exuding a strong sense of everyday life, but somehow... it couldn't be described as cozy.

Yan Xi then led him to her room.

"Grandma must have gone to the host's house today; she won't be back until later."

Her grandmother worked as a domestic helper for a wealthy family in the city. Before Liang Ziyi started to support her, her grandmother raised her alone, and the two depended on each other for survival.

The Music Bureau paid its trainees a high salary, but the old woman seemed to think that this kind of work was unstable and could not last long, so she saved all her salary and did not use a single penny.

The housekeeping work is still ongoing.

While going up the stairs, Yan Xi tripped over herself and stumbled. She grabbed the wall for support and quickly regained her balance.

"You should go to the hospital for a thorough check-up."

Cheng Chen withdrew his outstretched hand to help her up.

"The principle behind healing magic is quite crude; it's simply the regeneration of life force, and it's often less precise than modern medicine. Besides, I haven't used my healing spells on magical girls yet, so the effects are unknown. If you feel uncomfortable, please speak up."

Whether the demon's healing magic will be rejected by the magical girl is unknown.

Yan Qi suddenly looked up, standing on the steps, looking down at Cheng Chen: "What did that guy say to the producer? Do you two know each other?"

Only after speaking did she realize her tone, and she lowered her head anxiously, saying, "I'm sorry, I..."

"She said she wanted to join the Music Academy and work hard to become an idol."

"What!?"

Yan Xi exclaimed in disbelief.

"I agree."

The girl stared wide-eyed at her producer, bewildered.

Cheng Chen didn't continue the topic. After going up to the second floor of the house, he found the door of the room that best represented Yan Xi's style, pushed it open, and went inside.

It's a very ordinary room.

To the right is a single bed against the wall, and to the left is a wooden desk next to a wardrobe. The window at the far end is open, and a set of navy blue school uniforms hangs in front of it.

There were no other decorations besides that. There was a picture frame on the desk, but there were no photos inside.

Yan Xi asked him to sit down at the desk, and then sat on the edge of the bed herself. The two of them remained silent.

After a moment, Cheng Chen spoke up, casually starting a conversation: "Are you here for a concert today?"

"Yes, with a friend. She got a free ticket."

"How are you feeling?"

"I didn't go in; I forgot to bring my ticket."

"In the end, we even encountered a monster attack. How terrible!"

"Um."

Where are your friends?

"I told her that we got separated during the attack, and since the scene was too chaotic, we should go home first and there was no need to worry about meeting up."

She seemed to be sulking, yet she also seemed not to be angry at all.

However, the question-and-answer format resembles a conversation with an AI chatter, and doesn't really qualify as a chat.

"Let's go to a concert together again next time," he tentatively suggested. "Songlan's performance was still fantastic; she truly lives up to her reputation as a legendary idol. I think you'll like it too."

Unsurprisingly, I was rejected.

Yan Xi lowered her head again, her fingers twisting together. "No need, I... I'm not comfortable in this kind of situation. I was only dragged here by my friends today."

Cheng Chen stared at her, but she chose to avoid him.

"I told you, be more confident, Yan Xi."

He then returned to the topic they had discussed on the steps near the stadium: "Don't fool yourself. When you're surrounded by fans thanking you, you know very well that your body is enjoying the cheers and the feeling of being the center of attention."

"I don't."

The girl didn't look up. "If that's really the case, I shouldn't have run away, but I did."

"You just haven't accepted it in your heart yet."

Cheng Chen said, "You think you don't deserve those things. But every time you encounter danger, you will selflessly stand in front of others. Have you seen superhero movies? Heroes deserve the cheers and love."

"He's not a superhero at all, producer."

Yan Xi shook her head vigorously in rebuttal: "It may seem like I'm helping others, but that's not actually the case... I've never had any intention of seeking attention or gratitude."

She clenched her hands on her knees.

"I was powerless to do anything. I watched helplessly as the people I cared about were killed in front of the demon... I wanted to live, I wanted to escape the danger, and my mind was filled with fantasies that a hero would descend from the sky to save us..."

"I don't want to help anyone, it's just... I don't want to see my own reflection in other people, otherwise I'll be crushed."

The feeling of helplessness when the weak face a demon.

There was no sense of regret for not realizing the impending disaster.

The guilt of being unable to save a loved one.

These feelings have faded with time, but they still occasionally intrude into her dreams in the dead of night, choking her and making it almost impossible for her to breathe.

She always has dark thoughts.

"If someone had sacrificed themselves for my sister back then, perhaps she wouldn't have died." "If other magical girls had arrived in time, the entire old town would have been safe." "Why couldn't someone have helped me?"

These thoughts made her feel even worse; she knew very well that others had no obligation to help her.

Unable to reconcile, they choose internal strife, blaming themselves for the cause, for their own weakness and ignorance.

Was she trying to save someone?

No, that's self-punishment.

Punish your own weakness, punish those unrealistic delusions that arise in your heart.

Standing in front of others, she still thought to herself, "See, you are still weak and can't change anything," as if this fact could lessen her questioning of her younger, weaker self.

"You're a demon, you probably wouldn't understand this feeling."

Yan Xi's emotions teetered on the brink of spiraling out of control. Her eyes reddened, but she stubbornly raised them. "All you want is my value, whether it's to help me or to comfort me. You just want me to stand on the stage as you demand... This is just a form of manipulation, a perverse pleasure unique to you demons. All you want is to play with my life."

Cheng Chen did not speak.

In that instant, an irresistible desire rose within him, a desire to admit her accusation, and with a light laugh, he lifted her chin and told her, "You guessed right."

He wanted to inflict cruelty, so he raised his hand and destroyed or crushed the fragile girl in front of him, her face streaked with tears.

An unimaginable urge to destroy, like a human seeing a fragile yet beautiful work of art.

He rubbed his temples and exhaled deeply: "Do you really think so?"

He knew, of course, that Yan Xi would guess why he helped her.

But she never expected to come to this conclusion... although the conclusion wasn't wrong.

From the very beginning, his decision to return from Qiongcheng to become an idol producer was simply due to Jiang Fei's request and his need to break through the bottleneck of his rank.

He had no feelings for them; he simply used his usual methods to increase their favor towards him and test the system's reaction to them, so that he could gradually mold them into the shape he wanted.

Yan Xi is right, this is a form of manipulation.

Manipulating, deceiving, and then destroying are the instincts of demons.

Yan Xi met his gaze and saw her own reflection in his deep eyes—disheveled, sensitive, and foolish.

The girl gritted her teeth and admitted, "That's right, that's what I think."

Intentionally hurting those who help you with your words, even though you know it's wrong, you still say things that are completely contrary to your true feelings.

For some reason, she felt as if lowering her head would destroy the last vestige of her reason, that ridiculous pride.

"So, producer!"

After thinking everything through, her response became even more intense: "Give up on me, let me die. Or you can continue to toy with my life, I don't care! I will only continue to hate you and disobey you, until one day you run out of patience with me and show your true colors."

The room was quiet, with only dust falling under the light.

I didn't help you.

After a brief silence, Cheng Chen suddenly spoke.

"What?"

Yan Xi was taken aback.

"The resurrected calamity beast, Shaquan, when you fought it, I didn't help you, and no one else did."

Cheng Chen said calmly, "You yourself constructed the amplification array, allowing the final Southern Cross magic to shatter its defenses. The array was completed long ago, but you were unwilling to believe you could do it and kept avoiding the fact."

Yan Xi was completely stunned, and after a long while, she managed to speak with difficulty: "How is this possible?! I..."

"That's why I keep repeating it. You should be more confident." Cheng Chen raised his hand and gently placed it on the girl's head, stroking her hair. "But it's fine as it is now."

"I accept your request. From now on, I will be the one to manipulate your life."

"enjoy it."

……