I'm a magical girl in the future

Chapter 10 Conversation

Shen Zixin and Noah just stared at each other like that.

"What...does this mean?"

Shen Zixin couldn't understand Noah's answer at all.

The original self? Could it be that... my future self has completely become a woman?

"Ah, you must find this hard to understand."

Noah didn't seem surprised by Shen Zixin's shock. She sighed softly and looked at the road ahead.

"This story is a bit long. I can tell you it slowly..."

After saying that, Noah started walking slowly along the sidewalk. Shen Zixin subconsciously followed and walked beside her.

He had a premonition that what he was about to hear was an incredibly sad story.

"Let me start with everything I've been through," Noah said calmly as she began her story.

"Have you ever thought about how the story would have unfolded if 'me,' this 'variable' from the future, hadn't appeared tonight?"

Shen Zixin fell into a brief moment of thought.

Today I was planning to have dinner with He Yuran... then Xiaoling was attacked by a monster... This is a tragedy that would have happened in the original timeline.

"Then, let me tell you everything I've been through."

"After dinner today, He Yuran and I went for a walk in the street. Then, we happened to run into Qin Xiaoling and her friend Ye Han, who were also strolling around there."

"I think you can already guess what will happen next."

Noah turned her head slightly and glanced at Shen Zixin, who was silent beside her.

"Faced with the sudden attack of that calamity beast whose strength far exceeded their ability to cope, Xiaoling and Yehan transformed into magical girls. As you can probably see, their attacks were completely ineffective."

What happens next might surprise you.

Noah's tone was tinged with self-mockery and sorrow, "Faced with the calamity beast, He Yuran and I both awakened and became magical girls."

Huh? Shen Zixin was a little surprised. In Noah's original timeline, she and He Yuran... were both self-awakened?

However, this is somewhat different from what he knows—magical girls awaken between the ages of 10 and 18, and lose the opportunity to awaken themselves after that age.

Putting aside Shen Zixin's even more unusual male identity, both He Yuran and he are overage in terms of age, so why are they able to achieve self-awakening?

However, Shen Zixin did not voice her doubts, but listened quietly to Noah's story.

"However, even if we transform into magical girls, it still doesn't change anything."

"In the end, the level of spiritual energy of the calamity beast that appeared tonight was far beyond what we could handle at that time. So, He Yuran and I's transformations, at best... only delayed the arrival of despair."

"In the end... other, more powerful magical girls belonging to the Civil Defense Bureau arrived at the scene in time and ended that nightmare."

"Fortunately," Noah said with a hint of sarcasm, "of the four people present—Xiaoling, Ye Han, He Yuran, and me…none of us actually died 'truly'."

Huh? Shen Zixin was once again filled with immense confusion. According to Noah's previous statement, Xiaoling wasn't...

"Ah, I must apologize for that. Actually, what I said before to help you decide to become a magical girl... about Rin being torn to pieces by a monster... was a lie."

"She didn't die directly in that disaster. However, Xiaoling's condition... was only slightly better than death."

"During that monster attack, Xiaoling suffered severe injuries. Although she was rescued by a magical girl who arrived in time, she ultimately became...brain dead. She became a vegetative state patient with no consciousness, whose vital signs could only be maintained by medical equipment."

"Until I activated time travel and traveled to this era, she lay quietly in the hospital, never opening her eyes again, and never... said a word to me again."

Her voice sounded like it was tinged with a faint sob.

"As for Ye Han..."

Noah forced back a sob from her throat. "After that incident, she suffered a very severe stress reaction. Since then, she has been constantly, almost obsessively, apologizing to me and to everyone involved in that incident."

"She stubbornly believes that it was because she brought Xiaoling into the perilous world of magical girls that such a tragic ending was ultimately caused."

"Although neither I nor Xiaoling's sister ever had the slightest thought of blaming her. Because we both knew that it was not her fault."

"But she wouldn't listen to any comforting words. No matter what happened afterward, she would appear in Xiaoling's hospital room every week without fail. Then, she would talk to the unresponsive Xiaoling for a whole day."

She fantasized that this method might awaken the sleeping Xiaoling. But it was all in vain.

"Whenever I try to comfort her or offer her any help I can, she always instinctively avoids me."

"Of course, it wasn't because she hated me. It was because she was overwhelmed by guilt and fell into a deeper state of self-deprecation. She felt that she didn't deserve any of my kindness or gentleness."

"In her eyes, I could only feel her endless apology and regret."

"From then on, she carried out her missions with an almost atoning mentality. Whatever she did, she displayed an unimaginable madness and determination. Simply put, she always had a very strong tendency toward self-sacrifice and self-destruction."

"And the final outcome was just as she had hoped... she fell forever on the battlefield."

Noah's voice gradually lowered.

The somber atmosphere left Shen Zixin completely at a loss for words, and she simply listened quietly to the other person's story.

"As for 'me' myself... during the attack by the calamity beast 'tonight', I... also lost my original body, the male body that I was in as 'Shen Zixin'."

"The three constituent elements of the concept of 'human being' are: body, mind, and soul."

"The transformation of magical girls is essentially the release of their soul in a highly condensed energy form under specific conditions, and based on this, a new 'temporary body' that is more suitable for combat is reshaped, thus replacing the original fragile mortal body."

"Therefore, being attacked in the case of a magical girl is actually equivalent to having one's soul attacked."

"And on that 'night' that I experienced, under the attack of the calamity beast, my body was almost completely destroyed while I was still an ordinary human who had not yet completed my magical girl awakening."

"It can be said that he only achieved self-awakening at the last moment of his life, which temporarily saved his life."

"So... you should understand now. From that moment on, 'I' could never revert to the original male body that belonged to 'Shen Zixin'."

"Because that body has truly 'died'."

"For the past ten years or so, I have maintained this magical girl persona, living and fighting. For me, the so-called transformation is just changing into a different style of battle outfit."

"This is fundamentally different from the soul transformation of normal magical girls who can freely switch between human and magical girl forms."

"You must have sensed it vaguely too, right?"

Noah gave a self-deprecating smile. "My current personality isn't actually that similar to your 'past self.' On the contrary... in certain small details, you might think I'm a bit like He Yuran, right?"

"Perhaps... it's because I've maintained this feminine posture for too long."

"So long that even my own personality and way of thinking have unconsciously become more like her, more like the childhood sweetheart who was once with me day and night, who went through countless despair and hope with me, the most important person in my life... I'm getting closer to her."

"This is what I experienced on my own timeline. It is also my future, which is now unrecognizable and filled with blood and tears."

Noah finally stopped talking and looked at the brightly lit streets in the distance.

Her figure was so lonely, as if she carried the sorrow of the entire world.